Stretch Me

Sometimes I feel spiritually lost. I'm not sure if that's the right way to word it, but basically I'm confused as to what kind of direction He is moving me in in terms of growth. Usually I know what He is asking me to work on in my life, but right now I have no idea. I feel like I'm craving growth so much; searching desperately for more fulfillment than what I'm getting but I don't know how to get it. I read the Bible, I talk to God, I go to church and am in fellowship with other believers, I'm reading christian books to help push my faith..what else can I do? I am truly not trying to be prideful, I know that growth can only come from God alone, and I want Him to push me.

Thursday during prayer meeting I stumbled upon Romans 5:3-5:

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." Maybe it sounds weird, possibly even crazy but I want to go through trials, because I know that God is good and will fulfill me. Every time I reach the end of my desert I am so much more stronger and passionately in love with Christ because He satisfied me. I know that difficult times WILL come. But until then I long for God to stretch me..to my breaking point. I crave to be pushed spiritually to a place where I don't think I can go on. So that God can truly empty me of myself and fill me with Him. I want so badly to be molded into His likeness. Even if it kills. I want to be so broken that I have NO OTHER choice but to fully and completely lean and rely on Christ with every single ounce of myself. I want to be transformed.

His Daughter,

Hannah Renee'

Cherish The Moment

Washing my hands at school today and looking at the flowers painted on the bathroom wall I somehow felt like I was in fifth grade at Hellen Haller again. Only for a minute, but it was crazy. How in the world did time fly so quickly?! I remember when trying to climb into my bed by using the nightstand as a step stool was my biggest task, and now I'm looking into living in a different continent by myself. Eighteen years sure have flown by.

Lord, let me look forward to the future and all the great things that You have in store, but help me to cherish every moment You choose to bless me with. Its so difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that I'm not promised tomorrow. Help me to live in each moment for Your glory only. To shine Your love to everyone I meet. Use me daily and fill my life with opportunities to please you. Help me to not look at each day left of senior year as one more day to get through but one more day to honor You. Not as three months left until graduating but three months left to make an impact through You. Make your will the desire of my heart. Help me to dream big and love greatly.

His Daughter,

Hannah Renee'

Love Your Neighbor

"You aren't going to attend college next year, you must be going mad!" I can only begin to imagine all the comments from family and friends. The idea of doing mission work has always been floating around in my head but lately the thought has been heavy on my heart.

This is what I know:

• I love God.
• God wants me to love His people.

The thought of orphaned children sitting alone, hurting and not being loved makes my heart ache. I don't know what God has planned for my life but I'm so very excited to find out His amazing plans. Every day I'm falling deeper and deeper in love with my father, my friend, and my Savior. Calling myself lucky is beyond and understatement. I'm just so joyful. And to keep that joy I am so blessed to know locked up inside of me and not be able to share it with God's little children seems ridiculous to me. God calls me to go love His people. I love my Daddy. I want to obey my Daddy. And therefore I will go. Maybe I'm called to Cleveland, maybe I'm called to Africa. But where He goes I will go.

"Jesus answered, The first and principal one of all commands is: Hear, O Israel, The Lord our God is one Lord; And you shall love the Lord your God out of and with your whole heart and out of and with all your soul and out of and with all your mind and out of and with all your strength. This is the first and principal commandment. The second is like it and is this, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these." Mark 12:29-31

His Daughter,

Hannah Renee'

Empty Me

The school year is winding down, only three months left until we graduate. I just bought my prom dress and ordered my cap and gown..is this real?? And as senior year begins to fade I'm searching for meaning and contentment. Unsuccessfully grasping for fulfillment in the things of this world. I keep focusing on youth group, boys, friends, facebook, church, food, school, etc rather than my King. How many times will it take? When will I finally learn that I can only find contentment in the Lord? I am so frustrated with myself! And all I can do is beg the Lord for forgiveness and undeserving mercy. My hearts desire is to be so longing to be constantly living in his presence. To crave His unfathomable love.

His Daughter,

Hannah Renee'

He Is My Value

"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you High God- you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration- what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you. The days of my life all prepared before I'd even live one day." Psalm 139:13-16

I seem to always be searching for value, and every time I think I've found it I hit a wall and the feeling of emptiness comes back. No matter what I do, or what I try nothing ever fills me up except Him. He created me, He knows me better than myself and yet I continue to turn away. When will I realize that people and things will never satisfy me. That family, friends, boys, facebook, food, even youth group and church cannot fill me up. I'm begging for mercy which I do not deserve. Please, help me keep my eyes on You, and help me always make You the center of my life.

His Daughter,

Hannah Renee'

The Bread of Life

John 6:35 "Jesus said to them, 'I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.'"

Throughout the past two years I have experienced many trials and hardships. Sometimes I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a whirlwind, surrounded by confusion, anger, bitterness, greed, death, mourning, loss, selfishness, and hate. Yet I am able to find peace and be completely filled through Christ. I've come to a new understanding of what it means for Christ to be the bread of life. Lately I have been craving a father's love, acceptance, and unconditional love. I've come to the realization that I cannot get that from my earthly father, family, friends or even my family in Christ. No matter how hard I try to fill this longing with things and people I will always be hungry and will always thirst. One by one God has taken things Iused to "fill my satisfaction" and I've instead been forced to come to him on my knees and ask him to be my bread and water, and He has indeed filled me continuously like never before.

His Daughter,

Hannah Renee'

Bucket List

1. T̶r̶a̶v̶e̶l̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶E̶u̶r̶o̶p̶e̶, Asia, and A̶f̶r̶i̶c̶a̶.
2. Read War & Peace.
3. Become fluent in ASL.
4. Take singing lessons.
5. Fill the bed of a truck with blankets, pillows, and sleeping bags and go star gazing.
6. Go skydiving.
7. Swim in all five great lakes.
8. Milk a cow.
9. Visit all fifty states.
10. Ride an elephant.
11. G̶o̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶a̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶r̶i̶p̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶U̶g̶a̶n̶d̶a̶, Ethiopia, Haiti, Honduras, India, and China.
12. Swim with dolphins.
13. Watch a rocket launch, live.
14. Sleep on an overnight train.
15. Visit every country in Europe.
16. Ride in a hot air balloon.
17. Learn to surf.
18. Go snorkeling.
19. Learn to play poker.
20. Go skiing
21. Go horseback riding along the beach.
22. Watch every movie that has won an Academy Award for Best Picture.
23. Get married and have a large family.
24. Join the Peace Corps.
25. Deliver a baby.
26. Volunteer at a Soup Kitchen.
27. Become a nurse.
28. Watch an animal being born.
29. Eat at the Undersea Restaurant
30. Visit the New Seven Wonders of the World
31. Watch turtles hatch and run for the ocean.
32. Go stargazing at Pan de Azucar
33. Learn to quilt.
34. Take part in La Tomatina in Valencia.
35. Float in the Dead Sea.
36. Go water skiing
37. Go snowmobiling.
38. Write a book.
39. Learn to pray in Hebrew.
40. Learn to play The Sounds of Silence on the guitar.
41. See Jesus Culture, Chris Tomlin, Taylor Swift, and Casting Crowns in concert.
42. Go to the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville, TN.
43. Stay in a historic hotel.
44. Visit a movie set.
45. Learn how to ballroom dance.
46. Go on a canopy tour.
47. Drink wine in Italy.
48. Take pictures of an endangered species.
49. Visit the Four Corners.
50. Make a difference.