What I've Learned & What I Hope You Know

Not really sure how to start this one off, but I figured a good dose of vulnerability would do my heart some good.

I was raised in a Christian home, accepted Jesus as my savior when I was about four or five years old. Somehow I was able to really get it at a young age, and I'm thankful that I've never known a time where I didn't know God loved me. Growing up was kind of crazy. We moved quite a bit, the first time was in fifth grade and I ended up going to three different high schools. The summer after my sophomore year my parents separated and a few months after graduation they got a divorce.

I've had a lot of people tell me that I seem intimidating because I have this appearance of being the "perfect little Christian girl" and having everything together. I'm big on being vulnerable and real with community, so false perception is the last thing I want. I have tons of wounds and lies in my heart, just like anybody else. I have "stuff" and life is often messy. But thankfully I'm constantly being healed, and hope is always forever throughout any circumstance or season. :)

Over the past three years I've learned a ton. And I have a huge huge heart and passion for church and people. That they can learn and be able kick start off from where I'm standing and journeyed too, that I would be able to launch them out to go to further places than even I will. So I just wanted to share some things I've learned in hopes of doing that.

-If you want to know who you are, you have to know who God is.
-God is real. And so is Satan. You are in a battle, and the enemy truly wants to kill, steal and destroy. Be aware, not afraid.
-God created you purely to love you, and everything we do is out of response to that.
-We all have our "stuff". We're human. We mess up. And we aren't perfect, especially Christians. We're probably the messiest bunch. Its okay to not be okay.
-Its never 5 steps forward, 3 steps back with God. Its always forward. One of the biggest lies is that you are back at square one with that same thing you tried to deal with five years ago. Its not, its just another layer.
-Its not always that we needs God's grace, a lot of times we struggle with giving ourselves grace. Stop bullying yourself.
-You carry life and death on your tongue, so be careful what you speak over yourself and those around you, even in joking. Rebuke lies, proclaim truth.
-Because Jesus is in you, you have authority. You are powerful. You are already fighting from victory not towards it. Proclaim victory over every situation and relationship.
-Process. All of life is a process, so get used to it. :)
-Be aware of your perception as God as Father. If you took the attributes you think God has and put them on an earthly father, would you think they were a good dad? (ie: If you saw a dad that purposefully put their child in a rough situation to teach their kid a lesson, would that be considered good parenting?) If not than you may want to re-evaluate your understanding of the Father's heart.
-Find a small group of people and always be completely vulnerable. Tell them absolutely everything, share all your "stuff". Satan's number one tool is guilt and shame, and he does it by trying to keep us quiet. He wants us to think that we are the only one dealing with that thing. And just so you know, you aren't.
-Love always wins.

So let's be real...

So let's be real...

I like to keep close tabs on what is happening in my life. If I'm feeling or doing it, there is probably a chart I've already made to organize it ahead of time. It's just the way I am.

But now I've entered into a new season...a confusing one. For the first time, I can't put a thumb on my emotions, what I'm feeling, what's happening and on it goes. Now I love love love new seasons. Fresh starts, new beginnings. Its change just the way I like it, when I can know exactly what to expect. Only thing is this period of my life is extremely similar to the last. I'm a lover of adventures and newness. And for me, my seasons are probably going to look somewhat similar for the next three years while I'm in school. Its a bit frustrating because most of my friends my age will be graduating and moving into new areas in the next year or so. Serious relationships, jobs, marriage, traveling, etc, etc. They are headed into the place I always thought I'd be in 2016. Don't get me wrong, I'm so so excited for all my friends and their new endeavors. But sometimes I feel a little left out and frankly, a little stuck. So that's played into a big portion of my last few months...and thoughts.

The other new thing about this spring semester is that I have more free time. Alone time. Being by myself really isn't my jam. Its forced me to sit down and actually think about what's actually going on in my brain. Scary. Vulnerable. I want to crawl back into this whole identity that I have so craftily built for myself over the years. But I guess Jesus said its not going to go that way, He cares to much about me to let that ever happen...

I realized that there are the problems and issues I've been aware of years and years. And up until now, my strategy was just to put really big band aids on them. I manipulate other areas in my life to try to deaden the pain in others. Now I'm realizing that there's a root tightly attached to all my "stuff" and I'm not exactly sure what all of my roots entail. Some are anger. Others fear. Not only am I just now becoming aware of what's in my heart, but I don't understand it all, not understanding is my ultimate most biggest ever crazy fear, because it means I can't control it.

I don't really have any answers. I'm just trying to learn how to be honest with myself, my community and God. I'm learning that I don't have to wait for my feelings and emotions and passions to be validated by others. I'm learning that its not only okay to not be okay, but its okay to not know if I'm okay. I'm learning that the beauty of seasons is that they are only for a time. Which makes them precious things to live in. It would be easy for me to try to plow through until the next adventure, but I figure that's a sucky way to live my life.

What I do know is this, God loves me and He's binding up my wounds. I can't always feel Him like I want to, but I know He's there. I'd prefer to forget everything, deny my emotions, the past, hurts and wounds. But I'm called to live in fullness. So Jesus goes to the scary places and He steps right in the middle of my pain. He makes my messy, not-so fun areas of my life okay, because He's with me.

So let's be real...

I know He's fighting for the restoration of my life.
I know He hears and answers me when I call.
I know I'm His favourite one.
I know I have favor and blessing and prosperity.
I know I have nothing to fear.
I know I'm loved deeply.

Imperfect. And Perfectly Loved.

Sometimes, I feel like an onion.

God continues to peel back the layers, and with every layer more of my heart is revealed. And sometimes, what I find scares me.

        I like to have it all together. Actually, I'd much rather appear to have it all together. I like to have all the answers. I will do whatever it takes to be okay. And I really like to not struggle. But somewhere along the line I realized that keeping up with the "perfect" image wasn't working. Truth be told, I struggle. I struggle a lot. I struggle with sin, and I struggle with my struggle with sin. Sometimes I gossip. I revert to pride, especially when it comes to thinking I'm more spiritual than the other person. I love people, and a lot of times I'd rather get my encouragement from them, then directly from God. And sometimes I'd much rather lay on my bed and watch YouTube videos then read my Bible or talk to my Father. I just would.

      God has brought me through a season of recognizing my sin and imperfection, and the state of my heart made me sick to my stomach. That I could love God and still want sin. I felt disgusted with myself. And in the midst of this whirlwind of a season, He chose to overwhelm me with His grace. I don't have to be perfect, I wasn't created to be. I don't even want to be, because I would much rather be in desperate need of Him. I need His grace from myself.

When going through my latest journal I found my first entry from August 14th:

                                "Here's to a new season that starts today.

A season in which much growth and eye-watering laughter is anticipated.

Where I won't expect to be perfect.

Or even attempt to live up to other's standards.

Because my God is a victor.

All I expect is God to be good and His victory to shine.

I expect to exude His glory, for He is everything that is in Me.

I expect God to conquer.

I expect love and joy to overwhelm me.

I expect great things.

Because I know who I serve.

I don't have it all together. I don't always get it right. And that's okay. I'm not called to be perfect. I'm called to be His."

  God sure does have a way of bringing things full circle. I don't have all the answers. All I know is this:

  I'm a messed up sinner, imperfect and greatly flawed, incomparable to His holiness.

 And yet, I am the one whom Jesus loves.

This Child Soldier Has A Name

        During my time in Lira our team has been able to make many trips to the hospital to visit and pray over the patients. Among one of the visits I was able to meet Joseph, a former child soldier that had been abducted by the LRA. He had come to the hospital to see and older woman he knew, and to help pay for her medical bills. Through our conversation he began to tell me his story, and a few weeks later he was able to type up and email his experience in detail to me.
        Being in Uganda has allowed me to put a face to these brutal stories. They are no longer merely statistics, they are personal. ***Be aware that Joseph's story isn't easy to read, and at times is gruesome. But it is truthful and unfortunately, it was his reality.

"My father used to have two wives in 1984, of which the first was my
mother. In 1985 my father was appointed to be a pastor. He started to
chase away his first wife, who was my mother. This was when I was two
years old and she was forced to go while leaving me behind, so when
she left my stepmother took care of me and I happened to stay unaware
of the fact that my stepmother was not my real mother. Though the
situation was rough, I kept questioning myself if really this was my
real mother and I could not get any answer for myself. When I stayed
with my parents for 15 years I started hearing some rumours that my
real mother is close but whenever I asked my father about her he would
get really upset that is why I couldn´t ask him anymore and I just
continued persevere with the hard situation.
Unfortunately in 1999 the Lords Resistance Army abducted me by the age
of 15. This happened on a Friday and after I was abducted with seven
of my friends we spent the night in the bush. During that night the
rebels slaughtered five of us and only two of us were allowed to
continue with the rebels.

Then in 2001 we were all in Sudan and from there I managed to be taken
and stayed in the home of the rebel commander Joseph Kony and in 2002
they took me to school and I was allowed to study in Sudan for the
next three years. From there I heard that some of my relatives were
killed by the LRA. Then in 2004 they gave me one of the hardest task
to do, which was cutting of one hundred heads, and two sacks of
women´s breasts and all this was supposed to be done in only 7 days.
The task was so hard that I could not fulfil it. Because I was scared
of the consequences of my failure I still managed this terrible and
crucial task. But my daily prayer was to come back and start living my normal life.

In that same year of 2004 they took me and other child soldiers back to
Barloonyo and we were forced again to kill the people from our homes.
And from there about 370 people lost their lives and numbers of houses
were burnt and young kids of 7 years and younger were cut into pieces
and adults were pushed in houses and burnt as well. Many government
soldiers were defeated, tortured and killed and all the farm animals
were massacred. The area was left with no hope whatsoever of any human
being seen around. The following day, we went to Katakwi to a place
called Balanga and there we killed 120 people and a great number of
government soldiers and I was forced to carry two rotten bodies in a
sack. This was a particular punishment because I had misplaced my gun.
After that I was forced to carry two rotten head tied on my neck.
This year was a terrible year of atrocities and personal difficulties.
In this same year we went to my former home and they happened to
abduct 20 people of my home village and they forced me to slaughter
them by myself. This was the most difficult thing for me to be done by
myself and I started crying. They immediately forced me to sit down
and held a gun at my head to kill me. That was the moment when I
forced myself to slaughter all these people as they had instructed me
to do.

All these happenings were stuck in my mind, after they had forced me
to carry rotten body parts, I couldn´t neither sleep nor eat or talk
without feeling terrible afterward and terrible nightmares shocked me
every night, all these memories terribly affected me mentally and
physically.

One day we went again to a certain place called Lira Parto and there 7
kids were pushed in a sack and pound like maize until they died. All
these cruelties made my life were painful and I suffered from terrible
worries and as if that was not enough, one day they brought 15 women
and they were all tied on the ground with dried grass and then the
rebels burnt them and forced us to watch them die. During that
horrible crime, the women were crying and begged God for help. They
also forced an old grandmother to have sex with one of her
grandchildren that was only 14 years old and they forced them to enjoy
it publically. Since they were forced by the evil spirit they again
happened to cut off 20 peoples mouth, ears and noses and this was
commanded by the spirit in Kony. Later that evening after this event,
the spirit commanded Kony to make 5 people eaten alive by their fellow
friends and we were the ones who were forced to eat all those people,
leaving only the bones standing. In addition to that we were forced to
carry peoples goats, cattle, birds (such as ducks and chicken) and
many other animals and yet all these actions felt like violating the
will of God.

And again when we were going across to Sudan, we met some soldiers and
we fought and many of us were killed, but we ended the battle by
defeating them and of one hundred thousand soldiers patrolling
alongside of the border we managed to pass through without too much of
a problem. About two hundred thousand people alongside the border of
Uganda and Sudan were either killed or taken away from their homes to
live in Internal Displacement Camps.

And during the same period; many people were arrested especially the
young abducted men and women where by these men were taken to be
trained to become good soldiers in the future, where as the young
women captured were given to other men, or even sold to them, which
was also terrible insulting in front of God."

Check Out My Blog

Check out my blog and read about all the crazy adventures I'm having here in Lira, Uganda!

http://uganda.adventures.org/

Bigger Than My Suitcase

My suitcase just broke, and I'm a bit flustered because I cannot figure out where the heck I'm going to put my sleeping bag and pillow. Amidst all this craziness I feel God tapping me on the shoulder and saying, "Hey, you can't do this alone, remember?"

Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." But somehow I tend to replace the word Christ with Hannah. All I am is a puny little human, yet again and again I think I know it all. For some odd reason I find it so easy to trust God with the huge things, like raising $5, 400. But when it comes to finding the money to buy a suitcase I automatically freak. Does that even begin to make sense? I want to go into this trip with total peace, because I know that the Holy Spirit is totally and completely capable of giving me that. He is so much greater than me, this world, and my suitcase :). Why should I even worry? I know He will take care of me always.

10 Days. 10 Things I Don't Want To Leave. 10 Things I Can't Wait To Find.

10 Days.

Ten days until I leave for Atlanta and then Uganda! Here are ten things I don't want to leave behind, and ten things I can't wait to find!

Things I Don't Want To Leave Behind..

1) Friends & Family

2) Another Ohio autumn..baking, leaves changing colors, hot apple cider, delicious smells, tasty pies.

3) Hot showers!

4) The Hobbit coming to theaters December 14th. Nerdy right?;) I totally would of dressed up for the midnight premiere!

5) My big and comfortable bed!

6) Not having to apply tons of sunscreen and bug spray on a daily basis.

7) Taylor Swift's new Red album releasing October 22nd. Big big T-Swift fan.

8) Thanksgiving (:

9) Understanding what people are saying and being able to easily communicate.

10) Living in my comfort zone.

Things I Can't Wait To Find!

1) Encountering God in a whole new way!

2) Experiencing new cultures!

3) Meeting the beautiful people of Uganda!

4) All the super tight friendships I'm going to make..especially with my team!

5) Not having technology invade my life 24/7.

6) Dancing! The people of Uganda evidently love to dance..as do I! :)

7) All the new experiences the Lord will bless me with!

8) Worship!

9) Intense spiritual growth!

10) The unknown. Having faith that God is going to completely bless me in ways I can't even begin to imagine on a daily basis!

Can I just say that the second list was much much easier to come with then the first. For the most part the things I don't want to leave behind are worldly and temporary. Whereas the things I'm looking forward to finding are mostly spiritual, and everlasting. I cannot believe that in ten days I will be at training camp! God is good! Please be praying!

His Daughter,

Hannah Renee'

Uganda Be Kidding Me!

My oh my! I never knew there were so many things that would need to be done in order to prepare for a mission trip! Shots, insurance, doctor visits, getting the gear, the list goes on. But I'm kind of glad this endless to-do list is keeping me occupied, because I'm beyond excited for this trip! Maybe I should start packing....

Okay so here is a little update on my soon to be adventure:

-My trip is completely funded!!! Praise Jesus!!

-Found out that I will be flying to Amsterdam (Netherlands!) then to Nairobi (Kenya) ..not exactly sure why we are flying to Kenya and not Uganda??

-11 people are on our team, including 2 leaders. :)

-This Wednesday (Aug 22nd) I'm going to be having a fundraiser/spirit rally at the Strongsville Chick-Fil-A. (more details to come) All money is going towards paying for airfare to Atlanta, shots, etc.

-While in Uganda I will be blogging through AIM's site. Here is the link if you want to check it out: http://uganda.adventures.org/

Things to be praying for: peace, that God would provide the money needed to pay for all the "extras", that the Lord's will would be done, that He would be growing my entire team and preparing our hearts, that He would protect, bless and grow all those we meet on our trip.

A Chapter Ends. A Chapter Begins.

Sweet nostalgia. Tonight was our last night at youth group, man oh man so many tears! One by one all my friends whom I have become so close to over the past year are slowly heading off to their colleges. I feel like its even harder to say goodbye knowing that its going to be awhile before I seem them again, but I know that time is going to fly. God has totally and completely blessed me in the last year, beyond anything I could have ever hoped for. Which only makes me so incredibly pumped for the crazy awesome adventures that are sure to come!

If I could sum up what I've learned in the past year its that God is one thing, good. SO good! He has grown my heart and stretched me in ways I never knew possible. He allowed me to get a little better glimpse of His heart and completely blew me away. I can definitely say that at this point I am so head of heals for our Creator! What an amazing feeling it is to be so in love with someone you know will always love you forever and ever. Complete bliss. :)

I'm sad that this chapter in my life is slowly closing, but I'm so pumped for the next to begin! I can't even believe that in sixteen days I will be in Africa! How crazy is that?? God is SO good. =) Over the next week and a half, I'm curious to see how the Lord will grow and prepare me for Uganda. One thing is for sure, this will definitely be an adventure.

His Daughter,

Hannah Renee'

20 Days..20 Things To Pray For

20 Days.

Twenty days until I head off for Atlanta and later Uganda! Here are twenty things that you all can be praying for!

1) His Will~Pray that whatever God wants to happen will happen, pray for His perfect will to be done.

2) Uganda~Pray for the people of Uganda, that God would totally blow their minds with His love and grace.

3) All We Encounter~Pray for not only those we meet in Uganda but everyone we encounter..even those at the airport:)

4) Provision~Pray that the Lord would provide the last $682.45..as well as the money to pay for all of the "extra" stuff. (shots, airfare, etc)

5) My Team~Pray that the Lord would grow our hearts and our love for Him. Also pray for friendship and bonding. (something I'm super pumped for!)

6) God As Father~Pray that those who come from broken homes in Uganda would be able to understand God as a father.

7) Health & Safety~Pray for God's protection to be over us as we travel and live in Uganda.

8) Ebola Threat~Pray for the ebola threat currently going on in Uganda, for those affected, and that they would be able to contain it. (Also pray for the friends & family of those who have lost a love one because of it)

9) Willing Hearts~Pray that as the Lord shapes all of those on my team, and that we would be willing to be stretched..even when it hurts.

10) Energy~Pray for energy..I'm sure we will be quite tired from time to time!

11) Hanging Out With Christ~Pray that we would all make time to hang out with God on our own. (to read the Word, pray, journal, etc)

12) God's Love~Pray that the people of Uganda would see God's love through us.

13) Lot of Laughs~Pray that we would be able to have lots of fun!

14) Healing~Pray for healing among the brokenness of Uganda.

15) Filled With Christ~Pray that the Lord would empty me of myself and fill me with Him.

16) Boldness~Pray that Christ would give us the boldness to openly witness to others.

17) Worship~Pray that we would be able to worship and honor Christ in all we do.

18) Remember The Point~Pray that through all of this we would remember the point, why we are going. Christ loves us. Christ saved us. Christ wants to have a relationship with us.

19) Joyfulness~Pray that we would be able to be joyful and praise God among all circumstances. (even through tears & food poisoning) ;)

20) Not Just Another Mission Group~Pray that we wouldn't be just another mission team that comes and leaves. Pray that the Lord would use us to make an impact on His beautiful people.

Broken and Trusting

Lately all conversations within my household have been focused on the ebola threat in Uganda. My mom's kind of freaking out, which I can kind of understand with the whole "mom" thing and all. ;) But this whole epidemic has only spurred my love and desire to go to Uganda. Which really doesn't make much sense, people are dying due to an unknown disease with no cure..great LET'S GO! haha My first reaction was that isn't this when they would need our help more than ever?

My heart aches for Uganda, and I can't explain it. This beautiful country and their beautiful people have gone through pain that I cannot even begin to imagine. So much brokeness. So much hurt. They were finally on the mend, and now this? I know that they have had ebola threats in the past, but it just seems like one more thing they have to deal with. I don't understand what God is doing, but I know that He is good.

Whether I remain in the states or cross the Atlantic I trust that God will use me in Africa, if I'm praying at home or playing soccer with Ugandans He will use me. I've been asking God to grow my faith..I guess this is Him doing that? Anyways, through all of this my heart will sing no other name. :) God is SO good!

His Daughter,

Hannah Renee'

Uganda Update

Just thought I would give everyone the update on my Uganda trip. :)

~A lot of people have been asking about the Ebola threat (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-19048998) I have not heard from AIM as to whether or not this will effect our trip to Uganda..so in the mean time I will continue to fundraise and prepare. Please be praying for the health and safety of all those in Uganda.

~Right now I have currently fundraised $4,020.55 meaning I have $1,429.45 to go.

**I have two weeks left to fundraise (August 13th deadline)..if you are going to send in any checks please do so ASAP (they take about two weeks to process)! Online donations need to be made 3 days before the deadline so they have time to process as well.

~Fundraising: Right now I'm selling tshirts through fundthenation. They are $15 apiece, sizes S-XXL. Let me know ASAP if you would like one:) P.S. Shirts need to be bought through me.

30 Days

30 Days.

Thirty days until I leave for training camp in Atlanta. Thirty days until my adventure begins. In honor of this momentous occasion I thought I'd come up with thirty interesting facts about the lovely country of Uganda. :)

1) There are 4 main ethnic groups in Uganda: The Bantu, The Nilotics, The NiloHamitics, and The Hamites.

2) Independence Day is October 9th. (1962)

3) It is twice the size of Pennsylvania..slightly smaller than Oregon.

4) Boda-bodas (small mopeds) are the most commontransportation.

5) Matoke (steamed bananas) is a popular dish.

6) Agriculture is the most common job.

7) Most who live there eat two meals a day:lunch and supper.

8) Queen Elizabeth (National Park) is known for its warthogs and hippos mowing the lawn at Mweya Lodge.

9) Gorilla tracking serves as a fun past time, but you need a permit first. ;)

10) Landlocked (completely surrounded by land).

11) Olio-tia means "How are you?".

12) Capital: Kampala.

13) Flag consists of six black, yellow, and red stripeswith a grey crowned crane in the center.

14) Is a male dominant society.

15) Is a world class rafting destination.

16) Each tribe has their own music & dance for most occasions.

17) Waragi (banana gin) is the national drink.

18) National Anthem: Oh Uganda, Land of Beauty!

19) Mzungu means "European/foreigner".

20) Life expectancy: 54.

21) Have hot summers & mild winters.

22) Religions: Roman Catholic 41.9%, Protestant 42%, Muslim 12.1%, other 3.1%, none 0.9%.

23) Coffee is the major export crop.

24) Klear Kut is one of their popular musical groups.

25) Tropical climate.

26) Grow crops such as coffee, tea, banana, mango, maze, groundnut, casava, soya, sweet potato, cabbage, onion, rice, etc.

27) 14 million of the country's 30 million people are under the age of 15.

28) Government Type: Republic.

29) Currency is Ugandan shilling.

30) Is called the "Pearl of Africa".

Last Minute God

Most of you know that I have been working like crazy trying to bring in the needed funds for my mission trip to Uganda. Over the last few weeks God has blown my mind and performed miracles, through friends and family over $3,000 has come in. So I thought that I'd share about how amazing our Lord truly is. :)

I had one week to make the $2,000 deadline, and I had only $100 in my account. Let's just say I was a little stressed considering my letters were sent only seven days ago. I knew that if God wanted me to go to Africa He would get me there, but I didn't understand what exactly He was doing, why He was waiting until the last minute. Throughout the week I received about $300, which was amazing, but I was also still $1,700 short. I received a message from my cousin throughout all of this chaos, and his encouragement was exactly what I needed. "Money is nothing for Him! He is all powerful. Just rest in Him. He will do the rest. He is a last minute God. It grows our faith." So one day prior to the deadline I fasted and texted, emailed, and called everyone I could think of begging for prayers. It really doesn't make a lot of sense, but I could literally feel the prayers and through it the faith to know our God never fails. Over the next few hours through family members and some bonds I received as a child the deadline was met. What a blessing! I was so unbelievably relieved..until I got a message from AIM saying I couldn't be for sure guaranteed a ticket unless I could manage to get another $700-800 by the end of the weekend. Oh boy, Iwas so upset! I had just been relieved from this huge stress and now it was back! Throughout the weekend I received $200 which I was extremely grateful for, but I still had $700 to go. My mom said she could put in about $100, but it still wouldn't be enough. Sooo I decided to open my Bible and let the Lord do a little talking. I stumbled upon a little notecard that I had written a verse on from the previous summer (from Kingslove), the original plan was to give it to somebody but for some reason I felt the Lord telling me to hold on to it..I guess it was for this very moment. On the card was Isaiah 26:8, and I know it sounds so cliche' but it was exactly what I needed to hear.

Isaiah 26:8 "Lord, we show our trust in You by obeying Your laws; our heart's desire is to glorify Your name."

I went on to read the rest of Isaiah 26, which felt like God was literally speaking to me, so..amazing. This is now a chapter I will read everyday. :) Anyways after reading that I knew without a doubt that the Lord would provide if it was in His will. So I decided not to tell anybody, because I knew my God would come through and in the end be glorified. The next day I received a phone call from an old friend in Washington asking if his online donation for $500 had come through. I almost dropped the phone, especially considering I had never mentioned anything to him. God was so so good!!! My mom put in another $100 and I got to my deadline, actually I went over by $50. Throughout this past two weeks God has completely blown my mind with His love and faithfulness. What an amazing King we serve! Considering I haven't even left America yet and God has been working wonders now I'm SO pumped to see what all He has in store for me and my team in Africa!!! Right now I have $3,525, meaning I have $1,925 left to raise but I know that God will provide without a doubt. Our God is such a good God, and I'm so blessed to call Him my king.

His Daughter,

Hannah Renee'

Across The Pond

My heart has always belonged to Uganda. Most don't understand how I can have such a deep love for a country and its people without ever stepping foot within its boundaries, but God has always caused me to have such passion for other cultures. Lately He has grown my heart for the United Kingdom. I have always been fascinated with European culture, being that that is where my ancestors are from. But lately my desire to learn and hopefully even move to the UK has sky-rocketed.

~A Few Facts About The UK ~

-Made up of four countries. (England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland)

-Population is over 60 million

-An Englishmen drinks more tea than any person of any other nation

-Is an extremely diverse nation.

-Is the birthplace of Newton, Shakespeare, Darwin, and the Beatles.

-"The Tear Fund Survey in 2007 revealed 53% call themselves Christian but only 7% are actually practicing Christians." (OM International)

-Manchester United is the world's richest football (soccer) club.

-Currently, alcohol and drug abuse are extremely big issues there.

I'm not sure where God is going to lead me, but in the mean time I'm going to allow the Lord to grow my heart for Him and His beautiful people. I am so excited to see how He moves me and my heart for missions this coming fall in Africa.

His Daughter,

Hannah Renee'

With All My Heart

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

Proverbs 3:5 is one of those verses that almost everyone seems too know, and yet trusting with everything in us is just too difficult. It's weird, because I have seen God provide for my needs all my life. I've even seen Him perform miracles. He has NEVER failed me, and yet, I still sometimes doubt that He will come through. The last few weeks God has definitely been teaching me about the importance of trust. By July 13th I have to have $2,000 in my account for Adventures In Missions. I currently have $455.00. But thankfully my God is much bigger than dollar signs, and I HAVE to trust with all my heart that if He wants me serving in Uganda this fall that He will provide the funds without a doubt. So I cry out that He is holy and worthy of being glorified whether the money comes in or not, and I trust with everything I've got that He has me right where He wants me.

The bridge in Desert Song by Brooke Ligertwood really describes where I long for my heart to be, that no matter where God takes me (Uganda or right here in Cleveland) I will still worship Him and trust in Him with all my heart purely because He is my God.

All of my life in every season

You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

His Daughter,

Hannah Renee'

Mission Trip Letter

Dear Family and Friends,

I hope this letter finds you well! I wanted to share some exciting things that are occurring in my life. Three years ago I was able to learn about the country Uganda through an organization called Invisible Children, and since then God has given me such a deep love and passion for this beautiful country and those who live there. I am so excited to share that the Lord has called me to missions, and upon my recent graduation from Strongsville High School I made the decision to serve as a missionary overseas before attending college!

I will be serving as a missionary through an organization, Adventures in Missions, in their Passport program. Passport is AIM’s college-age program where individuals learn how to serve God’s kingdom and become secure in who they are in Christ. From August 29th to December 19^th I will be serving in Uganda, where I will be assisting in children’s ministries, HIV/AIDS education, hospital and prison ministries, as well as many other opportunities. 

I am so grateful for this opportunity that God has given me, and I have every confidence that He will provide for my needs! I am writing to ask if you would consider partnering prayerfully and financially with me in my ministry. I must raise $5,500 in order to go on the Passport Mission which covers my flight from Atlanta to Uganda and all my expenses on the field. In order for me to go on the trip a minimum payment of $2,000 is due by July 13^th and the rest is due by August 13^th. Please be praying that the Lord provides and that His will be done. 

I am inviting you to share in this ministry, which you may do this by donating online. In order to do so first go to http://adventures.org/, just click “Mission Trip Participants” under the “Donate” tab at the top of the page. Next to “Choose Program” click The Passport and next to “Participant Full Name” type Hannah Apelt.

I am so excited to see how this coming fall God grows me and uses me in the lives of others for His glory. My prayer is to not only be a blessing to those I serve, but also to you. I would be honored to go as your representative to bring Jesus Christ to the country of Uganda. I would also like to thank you in advance for your prayers and financial support. May God bless you as you prayerfully consider supporting me.

Joyfully,

Hannah R Apelt

To Donate Online: http://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=partFund

For AIM's Donation Policies: http://www.adventures.org/policies/policies.pdf

There's More To Life Than This

            I look around at the American church, and all I can do is shake my head. Somehow we have made it okay to live for the world first and put our duties as Christians on the back-burner. I'm so afraid that in ten years this will be me, I don't want to conform to the so called "normal" American-Christian lifestyle. There has got to be more to the Christian life than this! If I was truly filled with the Holy Spirit, completely committed to living for Christ, and surrendering every aspect of my life to Him I KNOW that my life would look completely different, as well as the lives of those around me. The Lord says to do unto others as you would have them do to you. I know the truth, and therefore I must share it with others. I feel like I have never even experienced the life God has called me to because I'm to busy living comfortably. So this summer rather than sitting in my air conditioned home in my pajamas, watching TV I'm asking that God fill my days with opportunities to glorify Him and share the gospel. Praying that this summer God completely blows my mind and uses me for His glory! I want to be completely stripped down to nothing but the cross! Cannot wait to see what He has in store!!!! :)

His Daughter,
Hannah Renee'

Right Here. Right Now.

          I have realized that it has come time to refocus. During my devos today I read something that made a huge impression on me. "Instead of praying, 'God, what do You want me to do next? you might ask, 'God, what do You want me to do while I'm right here.?'" I think that this kind of thinking is absolutely brilliant. With only nine days left of my high school its become super easy to be uber focussed purely on the future alone, rather than where God has currently placed me. Although I greatly look forward to future relationships, situations, and adventures God will bless me with I need to refocus and pay attention to where I currently am. My family, friends, neighbors, school, youth group, etc. God, I ask that you fill these last nine school days with opportunity after opportunity to glorify You, grow me, and witness to others. Help me look forward, and prepare for the future, but stay focused on where You've placed me right here, right now.
Your Daughter,
Hannah Renee'

Lean Not On Your Own Understanding

trust n. a: Assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b: One in which confidence is placed. (Merriam-Webster)

It's official! I sent in my $100.00 deposit and I'm now apart of the fall mission trip going to Uganda with Adventures in Missions!! God is SO good!! Now I have to start working on fundraising, oh boy! The trip is $5,000 not including the money to fly down to AIM in Georgia, pay for shots, the things I need for the trip, passports, etc. But I'm going to have to trust in the Creator of the Universe, it's my only option. Since trust has been such a prevalent theme in my life lately I scoured the Bible for verses which pertained to it. Here are a few that I found..

"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord have never forsaken those who seek you." Psalm 9:10

"Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge. Selah" Psalm 62:8

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;" Proverbs 3:5

"Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf." Proverbs 11:28

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

Time and time again I (unfortunately) relied on my own strength and resources, each time I either fell flat on my face or missed out on witnessing one of God's many miracles. I have no idea how in the world I'm going to come up with all of this money. But what I do know is that God is my provider, and that He wants me to trust in Him because He's got this all under control. Besides, God's resources are far more vast than my own! :)

Prayer:

Money for mission trip- $4,900

Money for plane ride to Georgia, shots, passport, etc.

Trust

His Daughter,

Hannah Renee'